Tips from my toddler:
-People with injuries should be reminded of the fact (pointing and repeating “ouchy” for 4 minutes), then made better by blowing kisses towards the wound.
-If you want something, DO NOT take a simple no for an answer…at least not until you have:
(a) attempted to physically get said thing in at least 3 separate ways (eg. asking for a popsicle repeatedly at top volume for several minutes; pushing chair over to climb up and get your own damn popsicle; suggesting we go to the store for a popsicle and supplying bike helmets to spur things along),
(b) thrown a gigantic fit when all of the above doesn’t work, and
(c) forgotten all about desired item when something better comes along (a spoon of peanut butter with goldfish crackers on top? That’s amazing!).
-Make sure you are heard by yelling everything you say at top volume.
-Honesty is sometimes better than sparing feelings.
-Life can be tragic. Yell and scream and get those negative feelings out when horrible things happen, like a bumped head – it’s cathartic.
-The world is fascinating. Look at everything around you and point out interesting things to other people, in case they don’t see them. Make sure you keep repeating yourself (“green! green! green! truck! truck!”) until your companion acknowledges and delights in your discovery.
-Reduce boredom. Calm and quiet can happen when we’re dead – life is for living. Run, shout, and make a ruckus during all waking moments.
-Prevent adults from becoming stodgy. As soon as you hear your parents discussing something bordering seriousness (finances, the dinner menu, logistics of sharing a single car between two commutes and daycare), interrupt by physically hanging upon one of them and yelling about something unrelated until they join in your mud-pie making or crayon-on-wall art project instead.
-If you are lucky enough to obtain an interesting object in your possession, hold onto it with all of your might. Do not let go until you have slept with said object for at least one nap.
-Share everything (except that one favorite vehicle toy). Chocolate, half-eaten apples, chalk, and books are so much better shared than enjoyed alone.
-Be helpful. Get involved in all of the household activities, like dishwashing and hammering things and digging holes in the yard. This will cause the adults to more creatively complete their tasks while you undo everything that was just finished, which clearly makes life more fun.