Choose the right beverage

A friend from my Scripps Institution of Oceanography days mentioned a saying from one of her professors the other day – “science is all about choosing the right drink for the job.” So, how does one do that? Here’s my take on a few of your standard choices, as applied to marine science.

              
                                                                   Coffee

                           Yes                                                                              No

·      Before diving (all the better to generate                ·      Diving in a drysuit

more pee to keep you warm in the wetsuit)               ·      Picking foraminifera out of sand under the

·      Running instruments all night long in the             microscope, or other tasks where fine motor skills

basement                                                                    are helpful

·      Doing complicated statistics                                  ·      Working for long stretches in the cleanlab in a

·      Writing                                                                   bunny suit that takes ages to get in and out of

·      Reading turgid articles                                           every time you have to pee

                                                                    
                                                                    Beer

                             Yes                                                                             No

·      Talking to friends about science                            ·      Giving talks about science, unless you are 

                                                                                    at nerd nite

                                                                     Wine

                              Yes                                                                             No

·      Formatting manuscripts                                         ·      Working in the lab

·      Making your figures look fancy in Illustrator        ·      Being interviewed   

·      Smoozing potential donors                                    ·      Responding to unpleasant emails

                                Cocktail (preferably with paper umbrella flourish)

                              Yes                                                                              No 

·      After a long day in the field                                    ·      Before a long day in the field

·      When tomorrow’s fieldwork is cancelled due        ·      Before a long night of sample processing

to bad weather/transit on the ship                               ·      While crafting your response to mean reviews

·      After receiving mean reviews on your most           of your most beloved manuscript

beloved manuscript

                                                                     Water

                               Yes                                                                             No

·      When you’ve run out of everything else                ·      When it might debilitate you with parasites

Cocktails also double as paperweights for scientific articles

Seawater samples are not tasty